The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. As the day went on, the teacher noticed Timmy sitting quietly in the back of the class.
"Timmy, do you have a story?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail out over enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
"Good heavens, what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."